Thursday, April 15, 2010

We are the Truth Adoption Blogger Day

From the JCICS (Joint Council on International Children Services):

We Are The Truth

A Campaign and Call to Action

The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children. The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.

You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. You know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive. And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.

You, the adoption community know the truth.

You live the truth.

You are the truth.

Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family.

We Are The Truth – an adoption blogger day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know. It doesn’t matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international. Let the world know your truth!

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Here's the truth from me. :)

In the mid to late 90's God started to lay adoption on my heart. At the time, I thought it was crazy-not because I didn't think I would love a child that wasn't biologically related to me but because I was sure there was no way we could get through the paperwork and the homestudy. I have ADD and struggled all through school getting my work turned in-even assignments I had done would sit in my locker. I have never been Martha Stewart, I had been a teen mom, a college drop-out. Who would deem me worthy enough to give me a child? God kept on pressing and finally I started mentioning it to Jeff. He thought I was crazy and so I'd push it to the back of my mind. God continued to press and then started laying China on my heart. After many years, Jeff finally said to me that he was ready to adopt. I think when we got on that plane to go get Allie, it finally hit Jeff that we were bringing home a child. I know people hate the sunshine and rainbows adoption stories but if I had to use one word to describe the day we got Allie it would be 'magical'. The morning after we got Allie we were eating breakfast at the White Swan buffet and Jeff looked at her and said, 'Everyone should do this at least once'. I knew then that we would be coming back to China for another child. Six months later we started the process to bring AnnaClaire home. We had some twists and turns in her adoption process which were very hard emotionally. When we got her, she was smiling and her whole body moved with excitement. I was actually worried because she seemed so happy to be given to us but AnnaClaire's transition was even more seamless than Allie's. Then came Brady. :) Brady was 23 months when we brought him home. He had been in orphanage care for 17 months and then moved to foster care for the last 6 before we adopted him. The trip to adopt Brady was the worst 2 weeks of my life. He raged, kicked, screamed, threw things. I was sure we had ruined our family by adopting him. I called my mom from China crying that my life was over. The months after we returned home with Brady are a blur. Every morning when I woke up I had two thoughts, 'Do I really have to live through another day?' and 'Who can I give this kid to?' It was a real struggle for everyone in the family. But we had made a commitment to this child and he was ours and we weren't giving up. I bought every book I could find on parenting hurt children, attachment, bonding, post adoption depression. I joined support groups. I prayed. I talked with those who were going through similar situations or who had been through them and gotten to the other side. I had read so much before we got Brady that I really felt prepared for behaviors he might exhibit and I think I was prepared for those behaviors. What I wasn't prepared for was MY reaction to those behaviors. My head understood why he acted the way he did but my heart was deeply hurt by it all. It's been almost 3 years since we adopted Brady. He still struggles with behavior issues but the progress he has made has been awesome. I truly believe that he loves us deeply and that's something I thought would never come. He is such a funny and smart little guy (and crazy cute, too!). I can't imagine all we would have missed if we hadn't buckled down and done what we had to do to help him understand we were his family and he was safe with us. Last fall, God started placing adoption on our hearts again. At first I was very scared because I never again want to feel those emotions that we felt after we got Brady. But I consider Brady a success story and I feel that we have learned so much after going through our trials with him. God has given me a peace about it all and if we have a similar situation with Coralie, we know we can make it though.

2 comments:

Rita said...

Lisa,

You and Jeff are such an inspiration to me. I knew you had some issues with Brady, but I never knew the whole story. I would love to go back one more time for a boy, but Tony says this is it....who knows...

Family Holidays said...
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