Monday, June 25, 2007

Finally an update!

I know many people have been waiting for an update, so here it is:) I had stopped posting to the 'Journey to Me' site while in China because 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' and I was in such a state that I had run out of 'nice'. I thought we were prepared for anything that a toddler adoption would entail but it was much harder than I ever imagined. It was so bad in China that I was quite depressed. The first few weeks home I disconnected from the world and didn't answer the phone or even turn on the computer. It didn't help that I was sick most of the first 2 weeks back. Once we were on our own turf, we we able to start teaching Brady what was acceptable behavior and what wasn't. He caught on quickly. We would have a few good days and then a *really* bad one. The bad days sent me right back to my doom and gloom place and thinking life would never be 'normal' again. Slowly but surely things started to get better and now I can't even remember the last time Brady had an entire day that was bad or the last time he had a rage. Even the fits (the in the floor ones) are very rare these days. He's still as strong willed and hot tempered and definitely lets you know what he wants, but I am amazed at how far he has come in such a short time. He's starting to understand so much of what we say which blows our minds because we could never pick up Chinese this fast! His first English word was 'more' and it was, of course, regarding food (food issues account for about 75% or more of his fits). He's been to the lake a few times and to the doctor's office (he's gained 2 pounds since China!) and last week I decided it was time to attempt a public outing. He did very well. He and I went out again today and he would say his version of 'hi' to every person we passed at the grocery store and wave at them. If they didn't respond he would start screaming at them. He is a very loud child and with his cleft palate uses alot of grunting and other various noises. I am sure the other patrons at Kroger were thrilled to have him there. LOL He absolutely ADORES his daddy. We joke that Jeff is like a rock star because when he comes home, everything stops and Brady runs to him squealing. Brady and daddy rough house a lot which makes mommy nervous. Poor kid finds plenty of ways to injure himself without the extra help! When we were first home Brady really attached to his older brothers and actually preferred them to me but 'the brothers' went out of town Brady's second week home and he decided mom was okay. He loves playing with his sisters, especially AnnaClaire. They have gotten into quite a few messes together (and let me tell you that the boy is not afraid to wear a little makeup). He's very rough with her and we are constantly having to tell him to 'be soft'. If he wants a toy she has, she now hands it over. I think she discovered that she got praise for being good about sharing and now willingly gives him anything he wants so that we will tell her that was nice. We are going to have to work on that. I don't want her to be a pushover and I don't want him running over her...and he is definitely smart enough to figure out how to manipulate her. AnnaClaire has had a hard time adjusting to having Brady around and has done quite a bit of whining and crying. Lately I have noticed that they are playing together more and more and even caught them coming down the steps holding hands the other day but before you say 'ahhhh', I have to tell you that 2 days later he tried to push her down the same stairs and if she didn't have a death grip on the railing he would have been successful. Allie's had a bit of trouble too. At first she was having some 'accidents' but that seems to have gone away. She is having some meltdowns over things that I think are really not the issue as much as her adjustment to a new sibling. Even still, Brady can be wreaking havoc all around and Allie will look at me and say, 'I am so glad Brady's home'. And he is...home. Wild and crazy as it is around here, he's a part of us now. Sometimes he smiles at me and it just melts my heart, or he'll come running full force to give me a hug and about break my jaw with his head or knock me over backwards (did I mention he was rough?). Now if I could only teach him that mommy is way cooler than daddy...

I have to thank all those who called and emailed because you were worried about us. Your support really got us through. THANK YOU!

8 comments:

The Byrd Family said...

I feel your pain sister! I told you I called the first 4 months Emma Jane was home the "dark months". Even hard to admit I asked myself, "What have I done?". It was terrible! Rage beyond rage, hard to believe little bodies can exhibit such anger BUT it has been six months and she is an angel. I was depressed, I began taking St. John's Wart to help calm my nerves. Just hang in there and we will all keep praying for you and Brady and just keep being consistent with discipline...eventually he will catch on. I felt like Emma only heard "No" from me and nothing else for months. Lottie was her personal punching bag and Emma bit Lottie almost every day! It was simply survival techniques for Emma! Consider me your personal prayer warrior, I have fought this battle and won with God's help! Big, Big Hugs from Texas!

LaLa said...

I knew it must have been tough for you to go silent. I am so sorry it was and still is rough on all of you but I know you will work through it. You and Jeff are obviously awesome at this parenting thing so I am sure you will do what is best for Brady (and everyone else) Thanks for the update : )

The Byrd Family said...

P.S. Remember I gave you my phone number in a personal e-mail, please use it if you need to! So much has changed with Emma and she is a little sweetheart now and loves to just sit in my lap and love on me! Months ago I never dreamed that would happen and it will happen for you also Lisa.

Denna said...

Lisa, I am so thankful to hear from you and hear that things are better. Just knowing you the past year and half I knew something was not right. I knew in my heart that things would get better. You are a great mom. I am sorry you had to go through that. I am glad things are better. I am looking forward to having Lisa back with all her wonderful Loos Locos stories and pictures. I have missed you.

Kim T said...

Lisa my friend! All I can say is hang in there kiddo. It does get better. You know you have a ton of resources available to you. You have hundreds of friends cheering you on. Many of us have walked the path you are walking. I don't know how I would have dealt with Emmie if she was not my first.

We are now in a beautiful place that was so worth everything we went through. Some one else posted that they thought "What have I done?" I had those same thoughts on many many occasions over the past three years but they are less and less frequently. It has been a while since those thoughts have crossed my mind.

You are a warrior mom and will parent Brady in the most effective way for Brady. I know you will do whatever you need to do to get him through his adjustment period and you'll all be just fine.

jiangxigirls said...

Thanks for the update. Things are rough but it sounds like they are improving. Remember to take care of yourself too.

Hugs to you!

Julie said...

Lisa,
Thank you so much for your honesty in this post. We are hoping to bring Sam (already 2 years old) home next month and we really want to be prepared for anything. We have read so many happy stories and I know that is not always totally realistic. Russ and I sat down to read the post again together and took time to discuss it. We are so appreciative to you and your family for opening up this line of discussion for us. I may be emailing you for advice soon (hopefully real soon - come on TAs!!)

Dana Outlaw said...

Hi Lisa,

I have been thinking about you a lot and hoping that things were getting better. I love your blog and am so happy that Brady is responding to your care and nurturing. Several of the families would like to get together and bring you a meal - turkey or ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, a pie, and rolls. Would you let us do this for you please? Call me to set up a time at 288-4267 or 292-4391.

God bless you and your family,

Dana Outlaw