Thursday, March 18, 2010

Handing it Over

We headed out bright and early yesterday to make the 3+ hour drive to Charlotte. Our fingerprint appointment wasn't until March 26, but we had been told we could walk in at the Charlotte office. Our schedules worked out to go the 17th so we decided to give it a shot. We walked right in, handed them our fingerprint appointment letters and she gave us the forms to fill out. She never even looked at the appointment date. Big sigh of relief! I was ready to plead my case if they tried to turn us away, but thankfully that wasn't necessary. We were in and out in under 30 minutes and they assured us (insisted) that our fingerprints looked good. I was worried they'd get rejected and we'd have to trek back to Charlotte in a few weeks. When we returned home, I called the NBC (National Benefits Center) to tell them we had gotten fingerprinted early and was disappointed to hear that we haven't even been assigned a case officer yet. Then I called the Illinois Secretary of State to ask about processing time and found out there is a 2 week wait right now. Jeff's birth certificate has been there since the 12th. They said it wouldn't get sent out until late next week. In a matter of minutes, the euphoria of getting fingerprinted was snuffed out by the reality that my timeline isn't going to be met. So I did what I always do and started crunching the numbers estimating our timeline under a thousand different scenarios all the while getting more and more discouraged. I even went to bed early, which I never do. I was pouting. Big time. And feeling really sorry for myself. When I woke up this morning, the first thing on my mind was my timeline. I started to think of the scenarios again and trying to figure out what I could do to speed things up. Then I thought, 'WHY am I wasting all this time trying to control things that I have no control over and not truly trusting the One who IS in control?' Duh! Then when I was in the car this morning, I heard this verse on the radio...Matthew 10:37 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Wow. I was totally putting Coralie and my desire to get her home in MY time before God and His plan and His timing. If I trust Him enough to adopt a child when I feel He has led me to do it, why am I not trusting that it will happen in His time? So I let it go. For real this time. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Every day I have on this earth is a gift-even the ones before she comes home. I don't intend to waste those days trying to control things I can't when I have family and responsibilities here that need my attention. Thank you God for being a God that I can trust completely. A God who loves my little girl even more than I do and will do things for her good. I trust you, Lord!

I was talking to a friend about this and she shared this with me...

A friend of mine at church has two sons that are in the military. Last year both of them were overseas fighting. I asked her how she did it and didn't she wish they would just stay home. Her response to me touched me and had really put me at peace with our wait. She said she would rather have her sons overseas in God's will that here in the states in her will.

I love that. Don't we all want our children to be in God's will?

4 comments:

Karen said...

**like**

Karen said...

How wonderful that you are fingerprinted! Praying your approval arrives any day. I have to say I agree with you 100%:-) I hope we are not too far behind you.

Sheryl said...

Great post, Lisa! I struggled so much with this in our last adoption. It always seemed when I finally threw up my arms, things started moving. Praying for you guys, that mountains will start moving! Hugs..

The Byrd's Nest said...

Yay for you Lisa! Never once in my life did I ever give something completely to the Lord until we were doing the paperwork for Lottie...you said it so perfectly and I am so thankful the weight has been lifted. It seems "so easy" when you but it is actually one of the hardest things for me to do as a Christian...:)